So having people coming up to me is soooo out of my comfort zone. I’ve spent my entire adulthood perfecting the “do not speak to me”-walk. Basically have headphones in ears, don’t look at people, don’t smile at people, in general have tunnel vision. I now have to do everything but that if I want people to approach me, which in theory I do want.
So yesterday I tried to vision myself walking around in the mountain pose. Feeling tall, welcoming and strong. Kind of. I didn’t listen to music, I smiled to random strangers, kind of looked them in the eyes a bit (at least didn’t do everything I could to ignore them) and I TALKED to people. I, SARA, talked to people. And managed to make a joke with one store owner. Much proud of myself. It’s the BF:s (boyfriend) exercise that my coach jumped at.
Back story to the exercise: Australians are chatty. They talk to each other in general, asking about each others day – and actually tell you about their day! This takes place in stores mostly, but you can basically do it anywhere. The BF is like a chatting professional when we are out and about. Sometimes I stand next to him and just look back and forth from him and the salesperson and wonder if this happens to be his actual best friend he hasn’t told me about. But as it turns out later, when I ask, this was their first ever encounter. In Sweden if you would share and bond in that way with a complete stranger – you would get weird looks and people would probably think you wanted to break in to their house/car/steal bag or for that matter identity theft. So this doesn’t come natural to me to be sure. That being said I don’t necessarily think that the Swedish way is in any way better – it’s just out of my comfort zone.
I have now sort of gotten used to it. I know the person processing my groceries will ask how I am doing, and I will give a evading “good” for an answer and not say anything else. Or let the BF do the talking. For an instance, once we were in a camping shop. I wandered away looking at their wet weather gear and the BF ended up at the fishing section. The store was rather large and after a little while I was wondering to myself where the BF was. But not to worry, just walk towards the salesperson talking and you’ll be sure to find him there. And for sure, there he was swapping childhood fishing stories with the salesperson.
Now! To my point. I need to get into the chatty thing if I want to promote my wellness coach business. So the BF came up with the idea that everyday I should talk to at least 1 person and find out something personal about that person. Nothing major or anything. But just like – when did they start their shift, when is their next break or something like that. Just a little bit of information. And then I have to report back to him in the evening. Or have to – he just manages to ask me about it when we talk about our days. My coach loved it. Of course. Yesterday I could happily report that I had talked to three people and made a joke as well. And smiling to people in my walking mountain pose.