I realized something! Eureka!
I re-read my posts a little while after posting them. You know so you can see all the spelling mistakes you missed, even though you did spell check and re-read the goddam thing 5 times after that, and go: “Aaaaargh! Spelling mistake, must-edit-must-edit-must-edit-don’t-edit-practise-to-be-imperfect! Aaaaargh!” But sometimes I can see that my little gremlins play a small little part in my own analyzing of myself. Didn’t know they were there. They have to play it very cleverly and be oh so quiet when they tip-toe around my brain now a days. Otherwise I go “Ha-HA! Got ya! Go back to the fiery chasm you came from, you evil Gollum!”
To my point! I’m very good at not getting to the point. Need to tell a lot of back story. I realized that this morning wasn’t “Oh, I don’t want to stress my sick self into a cough trying to rush to training.” It was: “My plan fell through and it distraught me enough to not agree to change the plan to the back up plan, that I rather stayed home.” I so liked my first plan of the morning, the clothes, getting ready, putting on make up, making sure everything was properly and neatly packed and organized in my bag… I didn’t like and approve of throwing plan A out of the window for the more “let’s see how much stuff you’ll be able to grab”-plan. Because, if you can’t do anything the perfect way you had envisioned – there is no point in doing it at all right?
BAD SARA. I need to figure out a remedy to this. Aka some kind of punishment (practice my coach would say.) Any suggestions? 🙂