Well what if I don’t want to?

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We touch on goal-setting and motivation in our class. When discussing it we kind of have to use ourselves and classmates as guinea pigs. Well we use each other as guinea pigs for everything: we are poked, squeezed, getting drawn on more or less on a daily basis, stripped, measured, having hands pushed through our intestines (yes really) and put though all kinds of exercises.

This particular session we were supposed to tell something on our bucket list to the class. I’m by far the oldest. 98% is between 18-23. Travel was really big among the group, and when I was at their age it was for me too. But now I was completely blank… I don’t really have an official “bucket list.” And when I started to rush through potential things through my head it all kind of went “done that, done that, done that too…” I have achieved so much! I’ve really haven’t thought about it in that way. All my travel, living abroad, all my studies, and my work. So many of my dreams and goals have been ticked off.

But now what? I had no clue, and especially not when put on the spot. I was like: “Making sure I get some Subway during the week? I don’t appreciate being pressured like this!” My life is planned up until the course finishes – and not one minute further. Because I don’t want to lock anything down. I want things to be spontaneous and unknown (at least to a point). But I don’t necessarily want to travel that much right now. And… I’m pretty happy job/study-wise. I know one is supposed to have goals… but… what if things are good? What if… you are happy now? What if you know things will work out regardless? How about not stressing about all the “must” of our lives? How about just winging it a bit and see what happens? Well, at least for a previous planning-maniac and perfectionist, I don’t want to get them goals all pressured anymore. It has the potential to awaken scary beasts from the dark. And I want goals now to be more abstract, than feeling that I have to see the pyramids or otherwise I failed something in my life. I want them to be like I’ve discussed with my coach: feel deep connection, be creative, have a flexible work and so on. Those things are way more important to me now, then specific career related goals, travels or must. So “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”

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